Peppermint Chewing Gum
by DipMeInBloodAndFeedMe2TheVamps
Summary: Lots of One Shots to do with the Twilight saga! All characters, all books.
1. The Corpse Bride

_The Corpse Bride_

_- Scarlett. Blood_

_Disclaimer: Much to my dismay my name is not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight._

_The Merchant Of Venice by William Shakespeare¬_

_"If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?". - (Act III, Scene I)._

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Rosalie's POV

I stared at myself in my floor length mirror. I looked hideous. Perfect.

I never thought I would hear myself congratulating myself on looking hideous. But, alas, that day has come. My hair was messy; I had backcombed it to give it a creepy appearance. I had also run at high speed across the carpet, which had caused the most amazing static effect. The curled tendrils levitated slightly, defying the laws of gravity. My skin was deathly pale naturally so I had emphasised that using strategically placed white powder. I'd stolen Esme's favourite lipstick and painted my lips blood red with it (ironic for a vampire, isn't it?). I'd overdosed on the eyeliner, outlining my eyes with thick black lines; it set off the paleness of my skin and the vibrant colour on my lips. I was dressed in my wedding dress. Except I'd made a few adjustments, using scissors, I'd snipped it to a shorter length. It now stopped midway between my thigh and my knee, I'd also snipped random slices from it, making it look tatty and well worn. I added black high heels for a finishing touch and I was ready to kill my ex-fiancé.

The Corpse Bride.

I looked like I'd been dragged through a bush backwards.

After one final check in the mirror I made my way downstairs, I stopped at the newel post. Edward screamed in horror, Esme gasped and Carlisle frowned.

I smiled brilliantly and sauntered into the kitchen, confidence oozing out of every pore despite my less than attractive state. Carlisle followed after me.

"Rosalie, are you sure about this?" He asked, Carlisle hated violence and thought I was making a terrible mistake. But I knew I wanted to do this. It would be natural for me to second guess myself, have doubts. But I hadn't. It made me feel less human than ever but it also made me even more eager to kill Royce, he had done this to me, he had taken away my humanity. Made me infertile. Immortal. He deserved what was coming to him.

"I'm sure, Carlisle," I said with conviction "He deserves it, he is a Bastard!"

Carlisle frowned again- the crease was becoming permanently etched into his forehead- I don't think he liked my choice of language.

"Rosalie, you're a newborn, what if you drain them dry?" He fought to keep his face emotionless when he said that, but I knew it hurt Carlisle to think about a bloodless human body. And as selfish as I was, I didn't want Carlisle to be hurting, he had become a father to me in just a week. I cared more for him than he knew. He was my daddy. "You're too young to control yourself. You won't be happy if you drink human blood, behind all your 'I'm a bitch' persona there is a compassionate woman who would care if she caved in a moment of weakness."

I could hear Edward sniggering in the other room when Carlisle said compassionate woman. I swore at him in my thoughts. Then I threatened him. He muttered 'Bring it on, princess.' under his breath and I growled.

Carlisle pretended to be oblivious to our little tête-à-tête.

"Carlisle, thank you for your concern. I love that you care so much for me, but this is something I need to do. I have no desire to drink human blood and I don't intend to tonight. I just want to have my revenge. Royce deserves everything that is coming to him. He shouldn't taint good air by breathing! I won't kill anyone else Carlisle, if I can help it, just the ones who have wronged me."

Carlisle sighed but nodded.

"They have wronged you monstrously and so I'll look the other way, this time. But Rosalie, I never will allow you to do anything like this again. And if your eyes are devil red when you get back I will quite happily murder you!"

For a moment I was stunned. Would he kill me? But then I realised that I was being silly, I had only known Carlisle properly for a minuscule amount of time, but it was obvious he could never kill anyone. I don't think he would kill animals if he could help it! He meant his words jocularly and so I smiled and left. Running from the kitchen and out of the front door.

The door slammed gently behind me. I could feel the eyes of my family boring into my back; some were disapproving, some were sympathetic. But I didn't care. I had an assassination to commit. And it would not be pretty...

~*~

I arrived in Rochester at around one in the morning. I stared through the iron railings that surrounded the King's vast estate. The moonlight shone through them casting shadow bars across my ghostly white skin. Jail bars. I was going to commit murder; I belonged in jail.

I tried not to dwell on that thought.

I tried not to think of Royce as the victim; he was a killer, he killed me. I was just enforcing the law, serving justice. A vampire vigilante. I smiled to myself.

_Believe whatever you want to believe, Rose..._

I peered through the iron gates so I could get a good look at the house. The King's mansion was white, Victorian. The place was peaceful and quiet, everyone was asleep. Heavy curtains had been drawn over all the windows. Except for one room, the ballroom.

The curtains hadn't been drawn so, because I have exceptional eyesight, I could see into the room. It contained a diamond chandelier, the firelight refracting off of the crystal shards. A fire was still blazing fiercely in the grand fireplace. It had obviously been forgotten about; no one had thought to extinguish it. I toyed with the idea of setting the house alight and making it look like an accident, no one would suspect arson. But the sadistic side of me disagreed vehemently. I wanted to tear Royce's skin from muscle and muscle from bone. I wanted him to know it was me who killed him, I wanted him to rue the day he stole my virginity and regret leaving me for dead in the street on an unusually cold, April night. I wanted him to suffer. Royce dying in his sleep from a fire didn't have quiet the same allure...

Time to put my plan into action. I hastily jumped over the iron railings, crept through the grounds and sped around the perimeter of the mansion, careful not to make a sound. I checked every door, trying to find an unlocked one. Unfortunately, all the doors were locked. So, I picked a random door and punched my fist through it, I reached down and twisted the lock. It clicked open.

I crept in and was disappointed to find myself in the pantry. Not the ideal place to begin my killing spree. I wanted it to be dramatic, spectacular. I wanted Royce to shit himself with fear before I graced him with the pleasure of death. I navigated my way to the foyer and looked around. This was the perfect scene.

The whole room was made of stark white marble with a glossy finish. Two staircases curled up onto the second story landing. I could see all the bedroom doors (24' caret gold handles!?!), I knew which one was Royce's (The second on the left) and my eyes locked onto it in hunger. He would die, soon.

A familiar rage bubbled up inside me again; I was a bomb about to detonate, a stick of dynamite about to explode with the force of its anger.

I coughed a little to clear my throat, no one had detected my intrusion yet but I was about to announce my presence.

"Royce King!" I called clearly.

I heard movement from behind the bedroom doors.

I heard people stirring, waking from their slumber. Sluggish feet moving to find the source of the disturbance. Yawns, murmured complaints. Two security guards walked into the foyer from the hallway I had just entered from. I ignored them, keeping my gaze fixed on the second story landing and the numerous bedroom doors that contained people that would soon be called corpses. They would soon join the realm of the dead. A place forever barred to me.

I could see the two men in my peripheral vision, their eyes popped as they drank in my dishevelled appearance.

I turned to them.

"Go and protect your _King_. I'm here to execute him and don't even think about running. You can't leave now, you've seen too much. Go and protect Royce, pitifully try to save him from my wrath."

They were both frozen with fear but commendations to them, neither of them tried to run. Their instincts told them it was futile, that I was so much more powerful than both of them combined.

"NOW!" I screeched and both of them ran upstairs, trembling with fear, to protect my ex- fiancé. I gained some sick satisfaction from watching the two gormless guards squirm. One of them ran so fast that he tripped on the last marble step and I laughed menacingly in response.

Three people then appeared from the safety of their bedrooms. John, Samuel and Ben.

The three miscreants that stood above me now were the furthest thing from innocent possible. They would rot in hell for eternity for what they did to me, and I would be the one to put them there. These three were the drunken accomplices in my demise, John had raped me. The other two had just disgusted me with dirty words and leery glares. They were vile men and I was glad they too would suffer.

"Rosalie Hale?" Ben asked sleepily, confused.

"Yes, it's me." I answered calmly. I looked at the second from the left door- Royce's room- and wasn't surprised that no one had exited that room. Royce had been warned about my untimely visit by the two guards. I had expected him to hide, he was a cowardly man.

"You're alive?" Samuel asked quietly "Looking a bit rough- too much make-up, love, the raccoon eyes aren't in this season." he paused "Neither are the bloody lips or the ripped wedding dress."

When he said the word bloody, I almost drained him dry. I would need to exercise supreme control in order to fulfil my task while staying true to Carlisle's guidelines. I couldn't drink their sweet blood. I didn't want to. There hearts pumped loudly and my throat burned torturously. It felt like sandpaper was scratching the inside of my throat leaving me parched. I swallowed the fresh flow of venom that had flooded my mouth but it did nothing to quell the unbearable burn. I focused on my prey.

Samuel had just insulted me.

I ignored him, instead grinning at him wickedly. At first, Samuel thought I was crazy but then his eyes appeared wary when he absorbed my toothy grin. His survival instinct was kicking in, same as the others. Their subconscious's had realised I was dangerous and was pumping them full of adrenaline, their conscious minds, however, had no idea why their bodies were reacting this way to me. I was just a freaky dressed, human girl, right? Wrong.

"I'm going to kill you all." I said quietly, they heard me and paled considerably in unison. That helped me ignore my thirst as the colour in their faces had done painful things to my throat.

"What, princess?" John asked, laughing slightly hysterically because of his underlying fear.

"I'm going to kill you all!" I said loudly, maybe a little louder than the situation required as I wanted to make sure Royce also heard. The anger was strong in me now. I would feel no remorse in crushing the life out of these pitiful humans. They took advantage of me when I was the weaker one, well now I'm the stronger one. Payback time.

I jumped up onto the banister that lined the second story in a move so fast that the speed of light would have been jealous. The three men gasped in horror.

"Things have changed since the last time you saw me, fellas, I'm now a vampire. I drink blood." I paused theatrically, it was clear they didn't believe me. "I'm not going to drink your blood; however, because you are repulsive creatures and deserve to be killed in a terrible manner not used for the sustenance of my kind, I'm a vegetarian."

John opened his atrociously big mouth to speak but I silenced him

"Shut Up!" I screamed and John looked like he was about to faint with fear. I felt cruel scaring them before destroying them. This anger was mostly directed towards Royce after all. These men were heavily intoxicated and blindly followed my ex fiancé's lead without questioning him that night. That didn't excuse their actions but it also meant that they were less monstrous than Royce was. I wanted to save my rage exclusively for him.

"Scream," I commanded in a whisper. "Scream before I make you," I growled when they hesitated.

Samuel and Ben screamed impressively, John refused. I grabbed his arm and twisted it into an angle that would cause maximum discomfort. He screamed. "Thank you." I said, exasperated. "Don't underestimate my strength, John, don't test me."

I moved so fast that it was undetectable to the feeble human eye. Within two seconds I snapped both Samuel and Ben's necks for their sins. They didn't know what had hit them.

An unwanted flashback overwhelmed me then…

_"My, My, Rosalie what a pretty body you have." Samuel murmured at me in approval._

_I lay in the middle of the bitterly cold road, being undressed against my will by three vile men. John, Samuel and Ben. I no longer struggled against them, they were stronger than me and I was sorely outnumbered. They stripped me of my clothes and I felt a little like Goldilocks would if she was being perved over by the three bears..._

_Samuel felt me up, massaged various body parts I would rather die than have him touch. Ben just watched everything with drunken fascination, he didn't help, he didn't join in, he just watched the show as if it was some disgraceful porno..._

A shiver of disgust rolled down my spine and I was glad I had killed these men. I didn't want anything like that happening to another unfortunate girl.

John watched their bodies fall to the floor with a rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights look on his face. He seemed compelled to stay still and that suited me just fine. It made my execution of him alot easier. John had raped me, he had been second in line- Royce had stolen my virginity. John was the last person I had had sex with. I pushed him to the floor with ease and stomped on his head with my foot, his skull made a very satisfactory crunch sound beneath my feet and he managed to screech a blood curdling scream before the fluids from his brain trickled over my heeled shoe. Like yolk from an egg. There was hardly any blood, mostly the fluid the brain bathed in and pieces of brain. But the scent still assaulted my senses and I was momentarily disgusted with myself for wanting to drink the goop streaming from John's head. I held my breath, it wasn't that appetising, but it was a necessary precaution.

I had a startlingly vivid flashback of my unfortunate experience with him, but that was so traumatic I would rather not share it with you.

With John, Samuel and Ben deceased, I decided it was time to hunt down Royce.

I opened the door second on the left and walked in to Royce's bedroom. I was certain he would be quaking with fear by now, he had heard his friend's screams, he knew they had departed this world.

The two idiotic guards opened fire, they had somehow gotten guns?

The bullets didn't dent my granite skin. They bounced off, barely scratching the surface. They damaged the wedding dress however, making me look even creepier. I felt like I could conquer death-and in a weird way I had conquered death by becoming a vampire. I snapped both guards necks in a nanosecond, those men had done nothing to deserve me killing them but they had seen too much and so I couldn't let them live.

They were guarding a huge iron concentrated door, only accessible if you knew the code. I knew it would take me ages to punch my way though that bad boy door so I tried the pin pad. Being a vampire meant I had a ton of brain space so utilising that I typed in every combination there is. Several million combinations until one fit. The system couldn't take my fast fingers and was quickly overwhelmed, short circuiting within seconds. I pried the door open to find a pathetic Royce cowering in the corner, curled into a foetus shape, rocking himself and sucking his thumb obsessively. I pitied him.

"Royce King." I said. He looked up and was obviously shocked.

"Rosalie Hale?" His brow furrowed in confusion, and then it clicked - the guards hadn't known who I was, they had probably just told Royce a demon was coming to get him. Royce wiped the tears from his eyes and straightened up; it seemed he didn't seem to fear his horridly dressed, insanely beautiful ex-fiancé as much as a demon. He stood before me warily. "Did you kill my guards?" I nodded "And Sam, Ben and John?" I nodded again with a triumphant grin on my face, a little like the cat that ate the canary. Royce gulped.

"And I'm here to kill you." I said.

And then like the cowardly idiot he was he tried to run. I smiled and let him go, I enjoyed hide and seek. I listened carefully to the sound of his fleeing footsteps, they sped down the stairs and across the marble foyer, they hit carpet and continued west. I counted slowly to five in my head- I didn't have the patience to wait until ten- before I followed him. Within seconds I was right behind him, running down an elegantly furnished corridor. He screamed and I chuckled as if it was the loveliest sound in the world. He had enjoyed my pain on that April night and I will enjoy his in return. He ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I found it hilarious that he thought a measly door would keep me out, I had got through the bad boy door so I could handle a bathroom one. The human mind never thought rationally, did it?

I knocked on the door menacingly and I thought I'd add an evil laugh for good measure. I heard Royce whimper and a window opening, I think he was attempting to climb out of it.

But as quickly as this game had started, I was now bored of it. I wasn't a sadist and so hearing Royce's fear wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. I just wanted him dead. I wanted this entire ordeal to be over. So I could forget about what had happened to me and move on. The End.

I punched a fist through the door and Royce screamed. I twisted the lock and then the door handle and entered just as Royce climbed out the window. My hand whipped out and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. I pulled his shirt collar with enough force to drag him back to me. He gasped and I knew Rosalie of a few minutes ago would have chuckled darkly but the Rosalie of now no longer bothered. I wished death upon him, nothing more, nothing less. I'd had my fun. I scraped my perfectly manicured fingernail across his cheek lightly. I didn't want to draw blood. It sent a shiver of fear though him though so it was effective.

I smiled at him and he grimaced back.

I grabbed both of his shoulders sharply and promptly kneed him in the private area. He keeled over and clutched his boy bits. I stood above him with my hands on my hips conveying to him that I was now the one in the position of power, I was the strong one. I saw him cower away from me in a half-hearted attempt to get away from me and then I reached down with deliberate slowness and put him out of his misery. Snapped neck.

He deserved so much more pain than a simple snapped neck but the one thing I had realised from this experience is that murdering people is not fun, even if said people deserved it. I hadn't enough coldness in my unbeating heart to destroy Royce. Not kill him, but frickin' destroy him. He had been murdered mercifully compared to what I had previously planned but my anger had dissipated throughout the evening and I didn't have enough hatred left in me to carry out my plans.

My moment of vain proudness with myself was successfully ruined by a soft cry from behind me. "Uncle Royce?"

Vanessa King (Royce's niece) was standing by the door frame in her nightdress, crying her little eyes out. She was about 10 years of age and her blonde hair was bobbed, her ocean blue eyes were sparkling with her poisonous tears and her fists were clenched tightly.

"Who are you?" She asked, her voice breaking on the last word.

What the heck do I say to that? Errm...I'm your uncle's ex fiancé and was going to become your aunty but your uncle killed me and so I became a vampire and I thought I would have my revenge?

That would not be a good idea.

I'd met Vanessa before at a family get together but she obviously didn't recognise me. I had gotten prettier (I was now officially the sexiest thing on this planet!) and I had had a bridal vampire makeover. She was terrified. She also knew too much. But I couldn't kill a ten year old child! I couldn't change her into a vampire either, Carlisle had told me about the immortal children and I didn't need to make an enemy out of those Volturi people, they quite frankly scared the shit out of me. What should I do?

She gazed at me through those heartbreaking puppy dog eyes, silently pleading with me not to kill her. The blue orbs entranced me and I was glad I was a vampire with a conscience, maybe she didn't have to die?

I broke eye contact with her and grabbed a decorative statue of an angel from the countertop and hit her over the head with it. She lost consciousness and I caught her before she fell to the floor. If I discredited her story she would be fine. No one ever really listened to children's witness accounts anyway, they were often cast aside, branded 'fairytales' or 'products of an overactive imagination'. Humans didn't realise that children observed things more readily than adults, children didn't have the reality film clouding their sight, they were able to believe in myths and legends. I held her fragile body in my arms not daring to breath, I could smell blood and it was taking all my self control to not greedily gulp it. I couldn't kill a child. I shouldn't kill a child. I am not a monster. I repeated those words over and over like a mantra under my breath, praying they would give me the strength not to kill her. I couldn't kill a child, I shouldn't kill a child. I am not a monster...

I placed in her bed, placed her teddy in her arms to make it look like she hadn't been moving in the night and tucked her in. I was about to leave when I realised the head injury could have caused her serious damage. I wasn't a doctor so I didn't know how to check if she was okay and I wasn't good around blood being a newborn and all so I just kept quiet and listened. The human body has a distinct rhythm, it functions like a drum beat. Any upset to that rhythm and I should be able to distinguish it. I heard her sweet blood pumping around her tiny body, it was pooling in her head due to the wound but not excessively, I didn't believe she would be brain damaged and even if she was it's better to be brain damaged than dead. Content with my heroic display of mercy I sped back home not daring to breathe until I reached my front door. I retold my story to the others and they all looked sombre but agreed that it was justified. I skimmed over the bit about Vanessa. Edward was the only one privy to that information having plucked it out of my head. He pulled me aside later that week and promised not to breathe a word of it to Carlisle and Esme. I didn't want them to be executed if the Volturi caught wind of my witness, ignorance was bliss and for the foreseeable future it was better if they remained ignorant. Vanessa would be mine and Edwards's secret. He reassured me she would be fine and I believed him. He had a degree in medicine and so I could respect his professional opinion. Edward had thought me a compassionless shrew and I had proved him wrong, that had warmed him to me. So Edward and I weren't exactly friends and we still irritated each other for fun but we had formed a truce. An uncomfortable truce. But a truce nevertheless.

_Other chapters will be more light-hearted I swear! I've just had this in my head for a while and needed to get it out. I always wanted Stephenie Meyer to give more details of this in the book. Please Review ;) _


	2. The Mother, The Pixie and The Wardrobe

_The Mother, The Pixie and The Wardrobe_

_- Scarlett. Blood_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :(_

_Robin Morgan said¬ '__Friendship is mutual blackmail elevated to the l__evel of love'_

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Alice's POV

For Bella's birthday we had been renovating the little hundred year old cottage out in the woods. Esme had managed to dissuade Emmett of building frickin' columns and a tower and so the little cottage remained rather tradional and pardon my saying so Bella-esque. Esme was basing the interior design on her holiday home in Isle Esme. The bedroom was done to replicate the master bedroom on the island and the room next door was going to be done to look like the living room on Isle Esme. But not if I had anything to say about it...

Esme had been in a bit of a panic recently with the soon-to-be new addition to our family. Bella's pregnant stomach had been a shock to the system of our family. Edward was fertile?! His little swimmers were still swimming?! It was amazing, a revelation, and a scientific discovery of the vampire community.

Esme was now converting the spare bedroom into a nursery for the little one. I wholeheartedly agreed with this plan, I only wanted to change the living room...into a massive wardrobe. I knew no amount of arguing could sway Esme to change her plans, she was trying to make this house perfect for Bella and Edward and there was no way to convince her that what _I_ wanted _would_ be perfect for Bella and Edward. So I walked into this argument armed.

Blackmail.

I had gotten hold of naked pictures of Esme (From Carlisle's desk drawer, it's a wonderland of secrets- and that girls is why you don't let your partner take naked pictures of you!) and I would use them as ammunition against her to get my way. No, even threatening my own mother was not below me in my quest to fix Bella's fashion sense!

I was running to the small house in the woods as I knew I would most likely find Esme there. And I was right Esme was standing in front of the cottage pouring over blueprints.

I walked up to her.

I was wearing an unthreatening white lace dress with footless tights and a tiny black rucksack. I knew she would notice the rucksack but I also knew she would think nothing of it. Unbeknownst to her, the rucksack contained the pictures.

"Alice?" She said to acknowledge my presence never taking her eyes off the blueprints.

"Esme would you kindly turn the living room into a huge wardrobe."

She looked at me.

The direct approach had never won awards but when you know you are going to win the argument anyway why bother with anything else? Esme looked a little surprised an emotion I personally was not familiar with. I was never surprised about anything so I wondered momentarily how it felt. Maybe I should ask Jasper to dish out some surprise for me so I could try it? It's useful to have an emotionally talented husband. Anyway back to the present.

"No, Alice."

Ha ha, we were being blunt. Fun Fun.

"Yes, Esme," I smiled evilly "If you know what's good for you, you will do this for me without the slightest bit of fuss."

She frowned, worried.

"What do you mean if I know what's good for me?"

"I am blackmailing you." I said in a voice so coated with sugar it could have passed for sweet.

She blanked. Again my directness had caught her off guard.

"With what?"

"Naked pictures." I said, she growled at me "Found them in Carlisle's desk drawer, you two really should keep a closer eye on personal things like that. It's just sloppy to leave the drawer unlocked." I shook my head as if I was disgusted by how easy it was to obtain the pictures. She growled again but I did not fear it, Esme wasn't a fighter and even if she was I could see the frickin' future- I would whup her ass.

"Well Alice, I'm counter blackmailing you- I have naked pictures of you and Jasper."

I was confused.

"How?" I asked.

"Emmett." She answered and I nodded as if in understanding before my brain caught up- Jasper and me had never taken naked pictures! And if Emmett had found them he wouldn't have given them up to Esme, they'd be plastered onto school walls and on the internet. Facebook, Bebo, Youtube; he would make a video montage of all of the pictures and send the link to everyone we know. The boy is a menace! Emmett would never have given them up; they would have haunted me for centuries to come! Come to thing of it...Emmett was so dangerous with naked pictures he could be part of my blackmail plan! Well done Esme you just condemned yourself- you really shouldn't have brought Emmett's name into this.

"I call your bluff- I've never taken naked pictures!" I said with triumph.

Then Esme swore and said "It was worth a try." She grimaced and said "So you want Bella's living room transformed into a wardrobe?"

"Yes, and money to buy clothes to fill the wardrobe."

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No."

"If I do these things…?"

"I'll shred the photos before your very eyes."

"And if I don't…?" she asked half fearfully.

"I hand the pictures over to Emmett to do with as he will- they will be plastered around town and online by sunrise."

She nodded accepting her fate.

"Okay Alice, you have yourself a wardrobe."

"Thank-you Esme, upon completion of it I will shred the photos… good bye, mother dearest."

And with that I spun around and ran back to the house.

Carlisle passed me on my run back and I shouted to him

"You are a dead man."

He shouted back

"Why?"

I stopped running, smiled, and got the pictures out of my rucksack to wave them at him. He screamed at me and Esme came through the trees.

She glared at Carlisle and used only one word "Run."

The look on her face was so murderously angry, so deadly; he sprinted into the forest at full speed. Esme gave him five seconds before she sped after him, screaming curse words and death threats. I sighed. Ah, it's great to be a Cullen.

* * *

_Just a little chapter this time, it's not as good as the first but I still wanna know what you guys think. Review?? :)_


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